i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
