I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
