What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm like, not good at living.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
