she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This is my gift to your gina
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
