apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
