I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
