My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
