Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
