Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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