are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
