is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
