my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
