Well apparently he's into motor boating.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
