lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
