I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
sarcasm needs its own font
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
