im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
