he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
