It's like a parade of train wrecks.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
