They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
