so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
