and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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