Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
