I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
