even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
