everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
