exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
