meet me or not, i'm out of control
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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