My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
