Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
