I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
