well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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