i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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