just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
