Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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