I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
