I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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