Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
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