I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
