I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
