well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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