Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
