brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
