I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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