I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
