it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
