oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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