You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
