So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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