omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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