I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
